I have so many beading patterns made, it’s not even funny. I just pulled out my bento box (a kind of Japanese lunch box) that is full of stuff I’ve made over the years, and it is crammed full.
I had this intention, years ago, of putting together a book of beading designs based on Japan.
That was before my brain finally gave out on me, though. And this folder on my laptop seriously sits there, mocking me.
This is only about 1/4 of the designs I have made, most of them I haven’t gotten to digitize. They’re everything from bracelets, to charms, to 3D pieces a lot like that sakura I made a pattern for a long time ago.
Seriously. Look at all of these:
This is nothing compared to the piles of them that I have around. Seriously. Piles and piles of designs and more designs. 90% of them are Japanese inspired, too, from paintings, kimono, nature, or places we’ve been.
I wish I wasn’t… me. I wish I had the drive to learn some actual graphic design, to even put together an ebook. I wish I was brave enough to contact Miyuki (the people who make the best damned beads ever for stuff like this) and talk to them and see if they want to buy “a foreigners view of Japan” or something. I wish I wasn’t so tired all of the time, and when I’m not tired, I’m sad. I wish I could keep with something long enough without flipping to something else (see: beads -> temari -> resin -> embroidery -> sewing -> mizuhiki knots -> puraban (shrinky plastic) -> ??).
I flip to something else because I feel like I’m trash at whatever I’m working on now, and hope something else picks it up. I feel like a failure at everything I attempt, and I have these grand ideas that I really want to do, but I never tell anyone about them (like this book idea) because I know I’ll fail at it – I’ll either never do it, or I’ll do it any no one cares one bit about it.
I don’t know how artists can have confidence in their work, or themselves (although is there really any difference between “work” and “self” for most artists?). I envy artists who can art, and be proud of their art, and not wind up in a crying puddle like I have every time I think about how much of an abject failure I am, but I know I have talent, I just can’t get my brain to follow up and actually not hate myself.
Does any of that rambling make sense?
Either way, I should do something. This folder is actually haunting me right now, bothering me.
I have folders for other designs just like this one, too – graphic designs, artwork (digital and paintings), corset designs for fabric I have laying there, clothing ideas I’ve sketched to use up some of the piles and piles of kimono I have sitting around, embroidery designs, digital washi tape motifs, stuff to go under resin, stuff to have printed into stickers (yeah, I was actually thinking that people might like my dumb/cute characters enough to actually buy them, but I doubt I’ll ever get that far) or whatever. I have all these ideas, all this stuff, and my brain sabotages myself to doing anything more than regret that I can’t bring myself to work on them.
On the plus side, looking through Instagram gave me this video back, which at least makes my life a little happier. Tiny, baby Spice.
So that’s something.
have you considered collaborating with someone to get the ebook done? there are people and companies who help those who want to self-publish with some of the harder stuff, like formatting. i don’t know a ton about it, so i’m not sure how many work with non-fiction and crafting based books, but it might be something to look into, when you’re in one of those moods where the folders are haunting you. if you just consider it someday maybe research, it’s not as scary. keep trying; your ideas and crafts are worth sharing with the world.
You are very talented so never give up. Doing something everyday all adds up after time, so its starting. You have some nice things on esty so keep adding to it.
Too contact Miyuki and see if they can use you. If they have blogs or lessons/info, ask if you can submit some of your tips. Or if you can sell on their site, that helps too. You may not get paid but its a free start so you show what you have to offer them. TRY TRY AND TRY! If you don’t TRY, you’ll never get anywhere, so never give up.
Look for any local stores and see if you can sell a couple items, and give them like 1/2 of the sale. Give it to them free upfront, and if anything sells, you’ll get paid after the sale. No one likes to buy stuff upfront they don’t know. Or resale shops. The key is to give your products free upfront to stores for resale, and give them 1/2 the sale. You won’t make a fortune, but you’ll get atleast your money back plus you’ll get known. Find businesses who can use custom artwork to fit any theme party they hold. Maybe even go to party halls who hold events and talk with them. Sit down and have a drink their and start to talk, and get to know them.
Maybe look for seamstresses, clothing businesses or party providers and let them know you can custom make theme stuff, but remember, you have to 100% be 110% reliable and never ever let them down. Once you make something, post it and keep it up and keep adding. Once something sells, focus on making another just like it, because if 1 liked it, odds are you have a item someone wants that someone else will want one too! Making 1 of different things is cool, but remake all sales is key to make 2,5,10 of the same thing, and raise the price 5-10% each time. If something does not sell, lower the cost by 10% every week or so, just to push it out the door. But once something sells, relist the same photo of the sale because you can always make a 2nd one. But remember, if you sell one, you’ll have to ship it right away… Letting down any buyer 1 time, they will never ever buy again, so never ever screw anyone over. If so, use a different store name or email address, or name. This way, no one knows who you are…
You have so much talent that you need to advertise yourself to party planners by you. If they fish, focus on fishing knick knacks to local shops or add their city name in it….
Or put a ad in the local paper that you are looking for a job and you are American. If no money, put up a handwritten posting, or that. Maybe someone around you will need a American to maybe help them in communication or whatever…
Check Japan “Yahoo Auctions” by you, or Amazon.JP, and Craiglist type online stuff and post things. But never give up and publically add new things every day and after a month, you’ll have a huge collection and keep it growning. You can’t list 1 thing and expect it to sell right away. Specialty items takes time for someone looking for it. Too, put in the description that you can custom make themes they may want you can do. If they have weekend fairs or markets to sell your goods, do that, or have a garage sale or something. Do it say the 1st Saturday of every month and tell people that, so they can come by whenever you have it. But do it over and over in markets or flea markets or ask small shops if they will sell your items. Give it free to them, but do not go every day to the stores and check. Once a week or so, but you don’t want to be a pain in the butt daily and they’ll think your crazy…
Maybe make TOKYO named items so maybe a TOKYO or any city collector will buy it. Good luck but never give up. Life isn’t easy but imagine if you had young children on a small budget, it isn’t easy and we all do all we can on what we make. I know my grown children expected everything free as children, but only afterwards, did they understand how hard it was for use to pay all the bills and give them everything we could. They expected more then they were given, but it was all we could at the time. As they grew up and had families themselves, they quickly learned it isn’t that easy to make tons of money for everything, and they appreciated all we done for our growing family.
But never give up regardless how hard it is. Be strong and keep moving forward. Nothing in life is free or easy, but keep putting your stuff to the public and things will happen when it happens. If you don’t try and give up, you’ll never get what you want.
Good luck but only you are preventing you from growing. You have to work thru it, as each of us do. Its how you “control” it and not let it ‘control” you.
Bree